Number 51 – They filled their museums with stolen treasures

This is a pointless argument as EVERY museum the world over has artefacts in it's vaults that do not necessarily belong to them. Mr Grasse uses as an example the Parthenon marbles, well how about the Hope Diamond on display in the Smithsonian? This diamond was stolen from France, recut from the French Blue diamond which itself was cut from the Tavernier Blue diamond and was used in the French crown jewels, why then is it in America?

Number 50 – They germinated jingoism

That's rich coming from an American! The word jingoism is indeed an English word but the Americans had their own word for the same thing “spread-eagleism” and were (and are) just as guilty of it as the English.


Just to be clear jingoism means “extreme patriotism, especially in the form of aggressive or warlike foreign policy” does that sound like any nation we know?

Number 49 – They invented the machine gun

Oh my lord, Mr Grasse is right, almost! We did indeed invent a gun that could fire an almost constant stream of bullets, just not when Mr Grasse claims, in actual fact it was invented by James Puckle in 1718 (that's 171 years before Mr Grasse states). The idea of such a gun was expanded on and improved by many others before Hiram Maxim invented the Maxim gun that Mr Grasse talks about, oh and one other point Hiram Maxim was born in America and did not take citizenship in Britain until 1899 (10 years after the invention of his gun) therefore the Maxim Gun was actually an American invention!

Number 48 – They supported the Confederacy

I'm afraid to say that on this point Mr Grasse is again wrong, the British did provided arms, materials and even ship building to the Confederacy, however, we also supplied the Union with the same.


The only thing we were guilty of is making money from America.

Number 47 – They invented the velvet rope

It feels like Mr Grasse is clutching at straws with this one, for instance he gives no evidence that the British invented queuing to get in somewhere, if he had done his research as I have he would have found out that queuing did indeed begin in the UK, but it was out of necessity, people queued to get on early forms of public transport and also, because of rationing, to get food. It was not, as Mr Grasse states to make the people outside feel like second class citizens.


I have a theory why Mr Grasse hates the “velvet rope” so much, maybe he is excluded from getting into all the places he wants too, if this is the case then I suggest he tries changing his attitude and maybe more people will warm to him, as one of his employees said,when asked in a video for his company what she thought of Mr Grasse “he's an ass”.

Number 46 – They love a good hanging

Mr Grasse starts this particular diatribe with the fact that “every society has a spectacle at it's centre” apparently in America this is the Super Bowl in France it is the Tour De France and in North Korea it is the Mass Games, well that is certainly true now, but how about 142 years ago (that is when the last public hanging in Britain happened)? Well I'd like to look into history if I may. 1868 in America the “spectacle” would have been, well what do you know, a public hanging! In fact America did not abolish public hangings until 1936 (that's 68 years after England). Take a look at this picture taken at the last public hanging in America,

 

it looks like a “spectacle” to me!

Number 45 – They're a beacon of prudery and snobbery

In this section Mr Grasse seems to think that the British are all prudes and snobbish bores, he believes this to be the case because Victorian values were all prudish, I'm afraid to burst your bubble here Mr Grasse but this is a common misconception, they weren't prudish at all in fact there were more people with “loose morals” then than there are now. The author states that “in a truly free society, respect is due to every man and woman” while I agree in principle to this, I have to say that I think that respect has to be earned, which is probably why I have so little respect for Mr Grasse.

Number 44 – They encouraged and subsidized the slave trade

It is unfortunate that the British participated in the slave trade, in fact it was plain wrong for them to do so, however please don't blame the British for the whole thing, the biggest perpetrators were the Portuguese, this fact doesn't mean that the Portuguese were to blame either, most of the western world had a hand in the spread of slaves from Africa to the Americas, and I can honestly say that we were wrong to do so.


All that being said the British stopped this heinous trade in 1807 and banned slavery in 1833, however it was not until 1865 that the US abolished slavery.

One point I would like to make is that at the start of his tirade Mr Grasse says “modern Britain likes to look down it's collective nose at America's history of slavery and segregation”, well I have to say that segregation is a very separate issue. Enforced segregation never happened in Britain, as we all know it unfortunately did happen in the US, and if the British look down their “collective noses” at you in the States then I have to say, good, you deserve it, you should rightly feel ashamed.

Number 43 – They invented slums

Let me just point out that ever since people have lived together in towns and cities slums have existed. The only claim that the English have over the rest of the world is that we invented the word slum in the nineteenth century, as for the “rivers of sewage” that coursed “down the middle of narrow alleyways”, yeah right, which country invented sewers? That's right the English, therefore we cleaned our streets of disease and filth long before anyone else.


Sorry but this whole section looks like Mr Grasse has seen Oliver too many times, let me just inform you Mr Grasse, in words of one syllable, so you might understand – it's not real, it's made up, it's a bit of fun.